Heaven Help me
by gabzrulz
Summary: What would have happened if Bella didnt give birth to Renesmee? Takes place during Breaking Dawn, while Bella is pregnant with Renesmee. Bella is still human.
1. Chapter 1

**I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT OR ANY OF THE CHARACTERS, STEPHENIE MEYES DOES.**

**Chapter One**

Edward POV

I watch Bella, my Bella, writhing in pain on the couch. I just want to run over to her and rip that monster which is inside her out.

Huh, I'm hardly one to talk about monsters. I'm the monster that gave in to her. That gave it life. I curse myself for the thousandth tie in the last few weeks. I look back over to the couch. Rose is once again sitting next to Bella, attached by an invisible string. Alice hovers over the back.

She looks over at me with a pained look.

_It's just as painful watching her! Can't we do anything?!_

I shake my head no and Alice returns her anxious gaze back to Bella's suffering. Esme is busying herself cleaning the kitchen, even though it doesn't need it. Carlisle is back upstairs in his makeshift hospital. Jasper and Emmett are just wandering around the house aimlessly, looking for something to do. It is worse for Jasper, because he can physically feel her pain. All in all, the house carries a very somber atmosphere.

It's all too much to watch. I wander outside through the big glass doors onto the outside patio. Jacob, Seth and Leah are still running patrol.

I wish I had never come into her life. I tried my hardest to resist. She was just so _irresistible_!!! And she didn't make it easy. I scold myself. I should have been more firm. I'm stronger than her. Therefore it was up to me to set the rules. But I gave in. Again and again.

My gaze roams over the peaceful atmosphere of the mountain ranges and the hovering mist of the Olympic Peninsula.

Suddenly I hear a blood curdling scream, coming from inside the house. I run inside, wondering what could possibly be wrong now.

Carlisle is bent over Bella, a large syringe in his right hand. He injects it in and Bella drifts into sleep while he examines her.

"Another broken rib" He mutters.

I can't take this any longer! I can't just sit around and watch the little monster break her bone by bone till she is just a heap of nothingness. Rose is getting excited, saying that it's getting stronger and will be ready to come out soon. I never thought of Rose as cruel, but how could she see the good side of this? It was killing her!! I can't take it any longer. I can't just wait around and watch her die. I had to do something!

Think, Edward, think. I could ask Carlisle to do it. Get rid of it. But there's the problem of Rose. And unless it was spur of the moment, Alice will see what we're planning to do and warn them. I don't reckon we would have a problem with Jasper and Emmett. They hated it as much, or nearly as much, as me. But would Carlisle do it against Bella's will?

As much as I hated to admit it, I would have to ask for the dog's help. He could distract Rose. But there was still the problem of Alice. She was one of Bella's best friends; surely this was hurting her as much as me? Surely she would understand my reasoning? I would have to talk to her.

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AN: So hey guys this is my first fan fiction story EVER so I'm pretty keen to hear what you think. Please review; even if you give me criticism coz any tips to better my writing will be greatly appreciated. Will maybe post another chapter if I get a couple of reviews. Not going to waste my time writing a story if no one likes it L but I hope you do and let's just say 5 reviews and I post another chapter. Sound good? Talk soon!


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of the books in the series or the characters.**

Edward POV

I found Alice in the kitchen. She was at the kitchen sink, staring out the window, fingers tapping on the steel sink lining.

I walked over to her slowly, but she heard me and turned around. Her eyes were downcast, staring at the floor, tears glistening in the corners of her eyes. She didn't speak, just waited for me to start the conversation. I walked over to her and gave her a big hug. She sobbed silently into my shoulder.

"She can't go on like this, Alice." I murmured to her.

She nodded.

"We have to do something" I tried again.

_I know,_ she thought.

"We have to get it out of her"

She looked up. "She'll never let us. You heard her. She doesn't realize what it's doing to her!"

I pretended to think about what she had said. Well, cant put it off any longer, I thought.

"Come for a run with me" I took her hand and led her out of the house. We ran across the meadow and through the trees, stopping just outside the boundaries of the house, where no one inside the house could hear us. I tried again.

"We're going to have to take it out anyway"

Alice started to protest.

"We have no choice! It's _killing _her! I can't just wait around and watch. I have to do something!"

Alice gave me a sympathetic look. "Do you think I enjoy watching her like this? But we have no choice. We can't _force _her to give it up!" I gave her a pointed look.

She stared at me with crazy eyes. She started shouting.

"We can't do that! It's cruel! It's monstrous! It would break her heart! And what about Rosalie? She never lets her out of her sight for the exact reason. She knows it hurts you. She suspects you're up to something." I waited until she had calmed down a bit before I started my side of the argument.

"It's monstrous to keep it in her. It's a monster that is inside her. It might break her heart but at least it would stop it breaking every other part of her! I will deal with Rosalie. What I need is for you to fake innocence."

Her eyes lit up with understanding. "You want me to be a part of this! To shut my mouth and just watch you break her heart! I can't do it! She is my best friend!"

I cut in. "And it's because she is your best friend that I'm asking this of you. You _have _to let Carlisle do this. It's the only thing that will save her. She is going to _die_ if we don't do this."

Alice's shoulders slumped over and she gave a defeated look. She sat down on a moss covered log and put her face in her hands. I sat next to her and tried to comfort her, telling her she was doing the right thing. After about half an hour she lifted her head up and looked me in the eyes.

"What do you want me to do?"

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Carlisle was the last nut I had to crack. It would be difficult to convince him to do something against the will of his patient. But Bella was also like a daughter to him. I also had to talk to Jacob, but that could come later. I knew he would help me.

Carlisle was up in his study, concentrating hard on a certain book, a stack of books as thick as an encyclopedia's sat next to him. When he heard me coming he met jumped up and made a face, like he was preparing for more bad news.

"What is it now Edward? Has something else happened to Bella? I didn't hear any commotion downstairs. However I have been concentrating hard on these books…."

"Calm down Carlisle, everything is fine, I just need to talk to you" I assured him.

He gave me a weary look but sat down again. I went and sat in the velvet covered mahogany chair that faced his desk.

"What did you need to talk to me about, son?"

"We need to talk about Bella. She isn't getting better and if this keeps on any longer it will kill her."

He went to protest but I held my hand up.

"Please let me continue. I know we can change her in time if things get worse, but we both know there is a chance it could fail. We need to consider other options, before things get worse."

Carlisle's eyes widened. He stood up in his chair. "You can't possibly be thinking of forcing her to give it up! Edward I know you love her, but be reasonable! There is still a chance she could carry and still survive."

"But a very small chance! Carlisle do you think I like this any more than you do! I cant bear to see her upset, to force her to do anything. But my need to protect her is stronger. We have to do this." I looked up at Carlisle with a pleading look. He sat back down in his chair and ran his hands through his hair, like he did when he was stressed.

"Even if I did agree to this, you would still have to talk to the others. Rosalie…"

I could see he was cracking. "I can deal with Rosalie, but I need to know that you are willing to do it."

"Willing isn't really the right word…"He muttered.

"Alice is going to talk to Bella and if she wont see reason you'll have to.."

Carlisle looked miserable. He nodded.

"I'll do it, but I never want you to ask me to do anything this awful ever again. Got it?"

"Thank you, Carlisle. I really appreciate it." I tried to give him my most sincere look.

He just sat back down in his chair and got back to work.

I walked out of the room and shut the door. I paused outside the door and thought about what I was doing. Carlisle would be able to do all the medical things. Alice could do what she can do support her. But like it or not, I would still have to talk to Jacob.

I sighed and walked downstairs.

AN: So I was really ecstatic that people were reading my story! I got my five reviews and so here is the next chapter. It was previously going to be two short chapters, but I know how you all love long chapters so I combined them. But I expect long reviews for a long chapter! 5 reviews will do J 


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of the books in the series or the characters.**

Edward POV

I walked downstairs and sat on a chair in the dining room, looking out to the living room. Bella was sleeping, and Rose has allowed herself to relax and sat down on the armchair next to her.

"Well I guess I can't put it off any longer" I muttered.

I rose from my chair and wandered out the big glass doors. Jacob, Leah and Seth were still out on patrol. I felt an itching in my throat and realized that I hadn't hunted for a while. I decided to go for a run in the woods. Maybe I would run in to the fleabags on my way.

I walked across the meadow and as soon as I entered the woods I caught up a smell. I started running and let my instincts take over….

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I licked my lips and wiped my hands on the grass, walking away from the lion carcass. I lifted my head and caught up another smell, sniffing. Repulsed, I turned away from it. By the smell I could tell that Jacob and the others were heading my way. I sat down on a rock and waited.

The three of them bounded round the trees and stopped when they saw me.

_And what do _you_ want, leech? _Said a female voice.

"I need to talk to Jacob"

They didn't move.

"Alone"

The wolf form of Leah growled.

_Come on Leah, you know he would never hurt Jacob. Jacob is friends with Bella. Edward would never do anything to upset Bella. _

I cringed. In fact the reason I wanted to talk to Jacob was something that would crush Bella's heart. I promised I would never to that do her again after I left her.

I nodded instead of voicing my confession and Seth led Leah away, leaving me and Jacob in the woods alone.

_What's wrong? Has something happened to Bella?_

"Bella is fine, but I need your help with something." Jacob looked automatically suspicious.

_What?_

"I'm sure it is hurting you just as much as it is me, watching Bella go through this." I started.

_Get to the point, bloodsucker._

"I need your help to get it out of her" Jacob's eyes widened.

"Yes I am being series" I said, reading his mind.

_What do you want me to do? _

I was surprised. I had expected at least a little bit of a refusal. Jacob saw my surprise and growled.

_Despite how much I hate you, if it's going to help Bella in the long run, tell me what to do. _

"Carlisle has agreed to help and so has Alice. Alice is going to help keep Bella calm and I'm going to help Carlisle."

_And what am I supposed to do?_

"You're going to distract rose." A deep growl rose in his throat.

_I love Bella, but if I have to work with that….._

"I'm not expecting you to play happy families. I need you to distract her while Carlisle does his stuff."

_And what am I supposed to do?_

"I don't know, be creative! Tell everyone that you need to show them something outside. Or challenge Rose to an arm wrestle. I don't know, make something up. So?"

_So what?_

"So are you going to help?"

_I'll think about it. _

I sighed, but realised that that was probably as good as I was going to get.

I sprinted back through the forest to the house, leaving Jacob alone in the forest.

When I got back to the house Carlisle was examining Bella once again. Alice and Rose were hovering around, but Jasper and Emmett were once again staying as far away as possible. Esme was also hovering around, looking concerned.

I shot Carlisle a look. He nodded and rose from the couch. Rose and Alice sat down next to Bella and Esme returned to cleaning the already immaculate house.

Carlisle led me upstairs and out of earshot of the others. When we got to the other end of the house, we halted in the hallway. He turned round to me and gestured for me to explain.

"I talked to Jacob. He is willing to help, for Bella. He can occupy Rose while you tend to Bella."

"And the boys? Esme?"

"The boys don't like this any less than I do. They can help keep Rose calm, and Esme can help Bella with Alice."

"Sounds like you have it all sorted out" Carlisle gave me a weird look. "I'm working tomorrow; I will collect some morphine and make other preparations ready for the surgery."

"I will tell everyone to act like everything is normal until everything is ready."

Carlisle didn't say anything, but walked back down the stairs and back to Bella.

I could hold it up for a bit longer, right?

**AN: So I'm absolutely ecstatic! People are actually reading my stories!! Self confidence boost! :P Anyway make it six reviews this time, this chap was a bit longer than the others. Also wen u review if u could tell me whether u prefer the longer chapters or the shorter chapters coz the shorter chapters I can get up quicker, but yea some ppl like the longer ones. Anyway thanks for reading and please please review!**

**Gabzrulz**


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